bare feet intimacy Spicing up your marriage holistically goes beyond just adding excitement to your relationship; it nurtures a deep and harmonious connection between partners that encompasses physical, emotional, and spiritual realms. Just as herbs and spices enrich the flavor of a dish, holistic approaches infuse your marriage with renewed vitality. Incorporating elements like shared prayer, trying new tastes and smells like aphrodisiac teas, and massages, reading erotic fiction together, and using toys together can invigorate intimacy and foster mutual understanding. By embracing wellness routines that support individual well-being and libido, couples can embark on a transformation journey, weaving a tapestry of love, trust, and mutual respect. Ultimately, holistic spicy rituals enrich not only the intimate aspects of marriage but also lay a foundation for lifelong partnership and fulfillment. In this article, I list 5 steps you can add to your intimacy routine up to *the act* and products that complement those steps!

1. Essential oils have long been celebrated for their ability to stimulate the senses and evoke powerful emotions, making them a valuable asset in enhancing sexual intimacy, boosting libido, and kindling romance. These concentrated plant extracts carry captivating scents that can trigger memories, elicit emotions, and create a heightened atmosphere of connection. By incorporating carefully chosen essential oils into intimate settings, couples can ignite a sensual journey that transcends the physical realm.

The olfactory system, closely linked to emotions and memories, plays a pivotal role in intimacy. Essential oils such as ylang-ylang, known for its aphrodisiac properties, and romantic rose oil can stimulate desire and create an aura of passion. By diffusing these scents or incorporating them into massage oils, partners can immerse themselves in an environment that encourages vulnerability and closeness. Moreover, essential oils like lavender and jasmine can help alleviate stress and anxiety, creating a relaxed state of mind that is conducive to intimacy.

Incorporating essential oils into the realm of sexual intimacy is about more than just their captivating aromas; it’s also about their potential to enhance physical sensations. Oils like cinnamon, ginger, and black pepper possess warming qualities that can create a gentle sensation of warmth and increase blood flow, adding a unique and tantalizing dimension to physical touch. As couples engage in shared experiences of applying these oils through massage or other forms of touch, they not only foster physical connection but also open doors to open communication and shared vulnerability. In essence, the role of essential oils in sexual intimacy is to awaken the senses, deepen emotional bonds, and set the stage for a passionate and harmonious romantic journey.

You can make a simple infused fragrant massage oil with a few simple steps and ingredients!

My recipe is simply 16 oz of a non-smelling oil like avocado, MCT, sweet almond, or sunflower and 1-2 cups fragrant flowers like lavender, mint, or rose. Using a mason jar with a piece of cloth and lid on, cover the flowers completely with oil and set on a sunny windowsill for 1-2 weeks (do not do the sun infusion with sweet almond or sunflower though because they’re polyunsaturated so they go rancid quicker when exposed to sunlight), or in a dark cupboard for 6 weeks. Learn more by taking the Aphrodisiac Course on Herbal Academy. I took it years ago and it changed my life.

Herbal Aphrodisiacs Intensive

2. Erotic massage. The role of healthy fascia in foreplay and holistic intimacy cannot be overstated. Fascia, the interconnected network of connective tissue that envelops muscles and organs, plays a crucial role in maintaining mobility, flexibility, and overall bodily function. In the context of intimacy, supple and well-functioning fascia contributes to physical comfort, heightened sensations, and a deeper sense of connection between partners. An understanding of the fascial network’s importance allows individuals to engage in foreplay and holistic intimacy with a focus on enhancing the body’s responsiveness and promoting a harmonious connection.

Erotic massage is a potent tool in nurturing healthy fascia and fostering a profound connection between partners. The intentional touch and focused manipulation of the body’s fascial layers during an erotic massage can release tension, increase blood flow, and promote a sense of relaxation and comfort. As fascia becomes more supple and pliable through massage, partners may experience heightened sensations and a heightened awareness of their bodies, intensifying the experience of intimacy.

To perform an erotic massage, communication and consent are paramount. Begin by creating a tranquil environment with dim lighting, soothing music, and comfortable bedding. Choose a high-quality massage oil enriched with nourishing essential oils like lavender or rose to promote relaxation. Begin with gentle, broad strokes to warm up the muscles and prepare the body for deeper touch. Focus on gradually incorporating techniques that target fascial layers, such as myofascial release, gentle stretching, and kneading motions.

The key is to be present and attentive to your partner’s responses, adjusting pressure and techniques based on their comfort level. Incorporate mindful breathing to enhance relaxation and connection. Remember that the intention behind the massage is to promote holistic intimacy, fostering emotional and physical closeness. By respecting boundaries and creating an atmosphere of trust, an erotic massage can serve as a potent gateway to deeper intimacy, emotional connection, and a profound understanding of each other’s bodies.

For erotic massage, here are the products I recommend:


lelo massage wand

Lelo Massage Wand (can be used on the WHOLE body, including erogenous zones!). This company is award-winning and you can use my code NOUVEAUELAN for a discount on your products. This wand vibrates on many different intensities and settings.

Massage balls from Amazon. I used these in labor too so they’re a great tool for intimacy + labor.

Foam Roller. Not the sexiest option but definitely helpful for stiff fascia and gives you the benefits of a massage without formally getting one. I recommend these especially for people who like to exercise.

Massage oil


3. Aphrodisiac teas hold a captivating allure in the realm of erotic intimacy rituals, transcending the boundaries of taste and scent to infuse passion and connection into the very essence of shared moments. These carefully crafted blends, often containing herbs with historical associations to desire and sensuality, have the power to heighten the senses, awaken desires, and create an intimate atmosphere that goes beyond the ordinary. In the context of an intimacy ritual, aphrodisiac teas play a multifaceted role that extends beyond their physiological effects.

The act of preparing and sharing aphrodisiac tea can itself be a sensual experience, engaging the senses of touch, smell, and taste. As partners work together to steep the herbs and create the brew, they engage in a shared act that deepens their connection and creates an atmosphere of anticipation. The delicate aroma of herbs like damiana, ginseng, or rose petals sets the stage, invoking a sense of mystery and allure that can be a powerful catalyst for intimacy.

Sipping aphrodisiac tea during an intimacy ritual allows individuals to slow down, be present, and engage in a mutual exploration of sensation. The herbs’ effects on circulation, relaxation, and mood enhancement contribute to a heightened state of awareness and receptivity, paving the way for deeper emotional and physical connection. The ritual becomes an opportunity to embrace vulnerability, open communication, and shared vulnerability.

As the effects of the tea unfold, partners may find themselves more attuned to each other’s desires and cues. The heightened state of arousal, coupled with the emotional intimacy cultivated during the ritual, creates an environment where partners can freely express their needs and explore new avenues of pleasure. Whether the ritual leads to gentle caresses, heartfelt conversations, or passionate encounters, the aphrodisiac tea serves as a gentle yet potent catalyst for intimacy, fostering a connection that is both physical and spiritual.

Ultimately, aphrodisiac teas contribute to an erotic intimacy ritual by creating a sensory journey that engages both body and soul. Their subtle effects, combined with the intention of enhancing connection, offer couples an opportunity to embrace sensuality in a holistic and profound way, nurturing the flames of desire and igniting the spark of intimacy. My teas are frequently used as Aphrodisiacs especially Aphrodite. Click here to try some of my Aphrodisiac teas and bundles.

couple praying

4. Shared Prayer. In the realm of marital erotic intimacy rituals, the incorporation of prayer and scripture can elevate the experience to a deeply spiritual and sacred level. Prayer, as a means of communicating with the Divine, and scripture, which offers guidance and wisdom, serve as powerful tools that can enhance the intimacy between partners and foster a connection that transcends the physical.

Prayer, offered both individually and as a couple, provides a profound opportunity to express gratitude for the gift of intimacy and seek blessings for the shared experience. It creates an atmosphere of reverence and mindfulness, allowing partners to connect on a spiritual plane as they embark on a journey of physical and emotional connection. Through prayer, couples acknowledge the sacred nature of their bond and invite the presence of the Divine into their intimate moments, deepening their sense of connection and vulnerability.

Incorporating scripture into a marital erotic intimacy ritual infuses the experience with divine guidance and inspiration. Scriptures that celebrate love, unity, and the sanctity of marriage provide a framework for understanding the spiritual significance of the act. Sharing meaningful passages can spark meaningful conversations about desires, boundaries, and intentions, fostering a deeper understanding of each other’s needs and values.

Furthermore, the use of scripture in an intimacy ritual offers an opportunity for reflection and meditation, creating a sense of mindfulness and intentionality. As couples immerse themselves in the wisdom of sacred texts, they cultivate a sense of reverence for their bodies, desires, and the act of intimacy itself. Scripture becomes a source of comfort, assurance, and affirmation that helps partners navigate the intricacies of their relationship in alignment with their faith. I recommend reading the Songs of Solomon for an erotic tale of two lovers who are deeply in love with God and each other. I also recommend 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 for a look of divine love.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Ultimately, the role of prayer and scripture in a marital erotic intimacy ritual is to create a sacred container that transcends the physical aspects of the experience. By inviting the Divine presence, seeking guidance, and embracing spiritual teachings, couples infuse their intimate moments with a sense of purpose, depth, and holiness. Through this intentional blending of physical and spiritual connection, partners can create a harmonious and fulfilling bond that nourishes both their souls and bodies.

couples libido sex

5. Intimate toys. In the realm of holistic intimacy rituals for married couples, the inclusion of intimate toys can play a liberating and enriching role in foreplay. These carefully chosen tools, designed to enhance pleasure and connection, offer couples an opportunity to explore their desires, communicate openly, and nurture a deeper sense of intimacy.

Intimate toys can serve as gateways to open communication between partners, allowing them to express their desires, boundaries, and curiosities. When integrated into a holistic intimacy ritual, the introduction of toys encourages open dialogue, fostering an environment of trust and vulnerability. By discussing preferences and intentions, couples co-create an experience that aligns with their shared values and desires, fostering a deeper understanding of each other’s needs.

Moreover, intimate toys can help couples break free from routine and explore new dimensions of pleasure, both individually and together. The act of introducing a toy into foreplay encourages partners to focus on sensation, connection, and the pursuit of mutual satisfaction. This intentional approach to pleasure creates an opportunity for mindfulness, where partners can be fully present and attuned to the moment, deepening their emotional and physical connection.

Ultimately, the role of intimate toys in foreplay within a holistic intimacy ritual is to empower couples to embrace their desires, prioritize mutual pleasure, and nurture a connection that encompasses both physical and emotional realms. By fostering open communication, intentionality, and shared exploration, couples can embark on a journey of holistic intimacy that celebrates their bond and enriches their connection in ways that align with their unique relationship and spiritual values.

I have a few recommendations that are total game changers if you want to move from just vanilla and au naturale to more spice, excitement, and pleasure!


First off, here is a great starter bundle from Lelo for primarily the woman’s pleasure. Their site also has options for the dude too if they’re into that, which not all are but no shame if they are, since they have their own G-spot. Here is the link to the Allgasm Bundle. Remember use my code NOUVEAUELAN if you want a discount! <3

Next, this spray increases salivation and numbs the throat!  Simple Ricola can help too. 

Lelo DOT is a revolutionary pinpoint clitoral vibrator. Try it with my discount NOUVEAUELAN.

Try this glass heart wand. Can be used for temperature therapy too. Never microwave or put in the oven, just put in warm water for 5 minutes or in the freezer.

lelo allgasm bundle
Clover Foraging

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